Remember that post I wrote about less being more? About how as I was discovering who I really am, I realized that I didn’t need things to make me happy? (It’s funny how many people I have actually had this exact conversation with after I wrote this post…or maybe I am just more aware of the topic now. Who knows?) Well, if you remember, I mentioned something about relationships and wealth. And that still rings true for me today. But there is a funny thing about relationships. You can only have true relationships with people if you are actually yourself. Otherwise, you really only have a pretend relationship. You see, the other person is friends with the pretend you, not the real you. They think they have a great friend in you. But they don’t know the real you…
I was raised to be good. Nice. Agreeable. Traditional. Normal. I would say that a lot of us were. Do you agree? (HeeHee.) My parents were amazing. I want to make that clear. But somewhere along the way what I heard was “in order to be nice, I have to give people what they want”. I had to create a person that everyone would love. And do you know what happened? I did a pretty darn good job. But that person… the person that everybody loved… was not me. The me inside that person was terrified that if they knew who I really was, if I disagreed with them just a teeny bit, that they wouldn’t be my friend anymore. And I lived years this way. Isn’t that so sad? Are some of you living that way right now?
To that I say stop! Because we need to stop that! We deserve to live our lives being ourselves. We were born us. We need to live our lives being us. We need to stop worrying so much about whether others will still like us if they find out who we really are and start asking ourselves, “Do I want a friend that wouldn’t like me if they knew who I really was? Do I want that person in my life?” Because just like Amy in Little Women said,“You don’t need scores of suitors. You need only one… if he’s the right one”, you only need friends if they are the right ones. Otherwise you will never be truly happy.
Today, this me, doesn’t have a ton of close friends. In fact, besides my hubs, I don’t think I have ever born my whole soul to another human being. And I’m okay. You see, that’s who I am. I like solitary activities. I like to crochet. I like to read. I like to write. I like to think. I like to take walks with one person at a time. My father? He had hoards of friends and acquaintances. That’s who he was. But that’s not me. And that’s okay.
I am friendly to everyone. I am kind. I love to help… to be the girl behind the scenes. I have shared pieces of me with many people. I like to think as I have grown older, and stayed true to the real me, I now am better at accepting people for who they are. That doesn’t mean that I love everything about everyone. It doesn’t mean that I never have a disagreement. It means that I understand that if I would like to live my life true to me, I have to respect everyone else’s desire to live true to them. (Unless you are an axe murderer, or a terrorist, or a creepy child porn guy. I can’t accept that. Sorry.) Sometimes I wonder if so many of our problems in this world would be solved if we just loved and accepted people for who they are… especially ourselves. Are you with me on that? I bet so many negative comments out there (Especially those mean, nasty ones from those online parents!) would stop if people could just drop the facade that they are perfect. But they are afraid to drop the facade because someone might judge them for not being perfect… and on it goes. Let’s be the brave ones. Let’s stop judging others and start being human again. Let’s love ourselves and each other. Flaws and all.
So if all this babble I just spewed was summed up, a great life could look like this:
- Be yourself. Truly yourself. And love yourself for who you are. Flaws and all.
- Be tolerant. Accept and value people for what they bring to the table. Flaws and all.
- Realize that not everyone is going to adore you and that’s okay.
- Surround yourself with people who do. (adore you)
- Be kind and do good.
Did I miss anything? Maybe your list looks a little different. I’ll accept that. 😉
Enjoy the Dance! ;D