After a long night… I’ve got something to say.

I am a walking contradiction tonight. I am a bundle of nerves and adrenaline. I have two important classes to teach tomorrow and I can’t sleep. Not because I am nervous about teaching those classes, which I should be, but because the turmoil in America leaves me broken hearted tonight. Particularly the recent executive order that has so many people up in arms.

I am sure what I am about to say is not going to make some of my friends and colleagues that I see on a regular basis very happy with me. And I apologize ahead of time for what I am about to say. I feel like it’s seventh grade all over again and I am standing alone. All I can say is that this comes straight from my heart after much deliberation and research. And I need to get it off my chest. To say what I believe. Or it will continue to nag relentlessly and eat away at my soul.

On one hand, I am a Mama to six beautiful children, one daughter-in-law and I hope a soon to be son-in-law. I am a Grammy to four beautiful grandkids, and I will do anything it takes to help them grow up in a country that is safe. A country that offers promise of a good life.

On the other hand, my heart breaks for refugees flooding out of war torn countries. As a mama myself, a little piece of me dies whenever I see babies (and by babies I mean any child of any age) that have to go through the horrors of war. I would gladly open my arms and take any of those babies and their families into my home and give them a place to stay. If you know me, you know this to be true.

But as much as my heart would love to open my home to any number of refugees, my head tells me to slow down. It asks me, “How do you know these people are refugees? What kind of documents can they possibly be carrying with them while fleeing from a war torn country? If the country is a failing country, what government agencies are verifying these refugees? Who is monitoring Middle Eastern borders? Is is possible that a terrorist posing as a refugee could get through the screening process?” To that last question, my head thinks yes.

Tonight, as I sit here unable to sleep, I am hopeful that our government is doing the right thing to make sure that my grandbabies can grow up looking out their windows, rather than boarding them up. That they can feel safe riding a bus to school, rather than worrying if it will be targeted, or worse yet, used as a weapon. That their lessons in school won’t include learning how and when to use a gas mask.

I also hope that our government will find a way to successfully screen refugees who deserve to be here. That those waiting in airports with legitimate rights to be here be let in. That families that have been separated can be reunited. That they are thoughtful in the number of vetted refugees we can support without harming our economy. Better yet, that they find a way to help fix the countries that refugees are running from. To remove from power people who are causing the turmoil, harm and loss of life. Because eventually, if it continues to spread (as evil usually does), we are going to run out of room. We will reach our saturation point… and what will we do then?

In the end, may God watch over us all. Both inside and outside our borders.



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